I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
