i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
