in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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