think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
