And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
