"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
