youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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