New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Are my feet made of real feet?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
