8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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