You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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