hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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