i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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