i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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