when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
