Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
