I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
