Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
