he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
