there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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