She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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