My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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