I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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