I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
