i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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