She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My cat gives me a boner
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
