Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it hurts more in the daytime
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
