Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
