Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is it because I queefed?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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