Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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