I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
