I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
