and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
