wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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