its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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