Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
