no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Blood and glitter go together right?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
