I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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