If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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