we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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