everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
