Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
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I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
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Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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