i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
