I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
