I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
50% drunk capacity currently
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
