Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
