Quick, to the slutcave!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
