She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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