Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
