she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
