I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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