you guys were way drunker than both of me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
