He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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