I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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