How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I just sharted jello shots
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