How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize