I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
