i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
