yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
