Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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