It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
