do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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