she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize