i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
